Tuesday, October 11, 2011

No shame here

This morning around 10am, my doorbell rang.

My first thought: "Crap."
My second thought: "Who could it be?"
My third thought: "Good thing I got dressed today."
My fourth thought as I open the door: "Oops! I forgot she was coming over...to make salsa...in my messing kitchen."
My fifth thought: "Oh well. Rock the mess."

So, I invited Alli in and apologized for forgetting we were making salsa. However, I went out of my way to not apologize for the mess.

I said, "Welp, this is my house on a real day!" She enthusiastically responded, "This is my house on a real day, too!" It was a bonding moment and hopefully helped both of us go a little easier on ourselves. I cleaned up the mess in about 30 min while she sat and chatted with me. It was fun and nice to have company while I did chores.

Here's the sad part. I've known this girl for years - try 9. We were besties and roommates in college. She's part of a large group of friends we belong to called "the girls." So, even though we popped zits, washed laundry, and cried together for years before we were married, I still clean my house before she comes over so she thinks I've got it all together. I would usually be really embarrassed for her to see my kitchen and dining room table with dishes from the past two days still out.

I'm not saying we shouldn't clean up before guests come over. I am saying we shouldn't clean up to put on a show or pretend we're capable of being the perfect mothers. It causes others to think they should be capable of what we seem capable of doing in one day, even though it's many times a facade. Let's stop comparing our private selves to others public selves and let's also stop trying to look like we can do it all!


  1. I like this. I went to a fireside once where this was the main subject. the phrase that has stuck with me over the years since I heard that talk...."Stop comparing your Tuesday worst to her Sunday best" I wish I could say I always had it together....but sadly that is NOT true, not even sure I have it all together most Sundays ha ha. Thanks for sharing your moment of imperfection to comfort and give balance to the rest of us (namely me)

  2. @Katherine Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one! I told my husband last night, "I hope I'm TRULY not the only one or else my blog would be a huge embarrassment!" Was that a CES fireside? I'd love to read it!