Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Mom, where's your fun self?

The fun, daring part of me was lost and buried when my new identity became "Mom."

As a young, naïve mom, I expected myself to find complete satisfaction in life by cooking, cleaning and tending to my sweet babies 24/7, all between the walls of my little home. Like so many other moms, I thought it was selfish to do things by myself and for myself. Have you ever felt this way?

After 4 years of full-time, serious motherhood, I wasn't vibrant or vivacious anymore. I wasn't excited or interesting.

Painting ceramics without kids at Color Me Mine with my sis-in-law.
I mean, I used to be fun! What happened to that girl?!

Back in high school, a teacher gave me the nickname, Barbie Becky. While I'd like to think it was because I was a blond, voluptuous babe with full lips (please laugh with me), it was because I was always excited to be participating in a million new activities.

Why did I bury that girl when I became a mom? Can't the two coexist? Can't I be a fun girl while being a mom?

The answer is YES!

But, how could I get back to my old, exciting ways? Where was that version of Becky? I thought back to a time when I was fun and in love with life—college.

What did I love to do in college?
-Play guitar
-Make friends laugh
-Try new things

This was the place to start. I mean, if this stuff brought me joy only a few years ago, shouldn't I still be interested? So, I chose one thing—guitar—and tried it. I still loved it! I picked another—dance—and tried it. I loved that, too!

I even reverted back to one of my childhood joys: crayons and coloring books. I was shocked to realize I still love it and I'm kinda killer at it now. The years have been kind to my artistic eye, my friends. I revel in beating my kids in our coloring contests. You should try it! And hang your artwork on the fridge. It's still satisfying.

In the last year, I have learned that I love and am good at Zumba, teaching a local group of ladies Pilates/Yoga every week, sewing clothes for my kids and myself, block printing and letterpress printing, sketching in pencil, writing and reading novels.

I have given myself permission, and even dared myself, to try new things, even if that means getting a babysitter. Because my kids like having an interesting mom. They need to see me live. It shows them that life doesn't end at 22, but that it continues forever. And, I'm glad to say that the variety in my life helps me appreciate my role as a mom even more.

Have you forgotten your fun self? If so, what did you enjoy years ago, even as a small child? Are you willing to try those things again? Seriously—coloring—do it.

Finished product after firing. Take that, 5-year-old Becky!
P.S. This post was an excuse to show off my cute butter dish...


  1. Love your pattern on the butter dish (that's what it is, right :) ).

    I've starting teaching piano lessons in an effort to get to know more people (and their kids), and it's been really fun so far.

    Once Brett is done with school, I'm totally looking forward to doing more things for me. I'd love to take a landscaping class... of course by then, our yard will be done... hmmm... oh well.

    Love you Barbie Becky!

  2. I was totally guilty of this and I don't even have kids yet! Sometimes it just feels easier to stick to routine. Luckily I realized what I was doing and got out of that rut. I actually told Clint I wanted a guitar back before Christmas but he didn't take me too seriously. Probably because I tell him things like "let's have a baby because I saw some really cute valentines day cothes and if we have one now, she'll be just in time." Seems reasonable if you ask me. Anyway, even though we are apart, lets make a bucket list! K love you bye. Don't forget to call me this week!

  3. I will be your babysitter. Also, I want to come to a pilates class!

  4. Love this! I have always loved photography and never dropped it but last year I bought a DSLR and really fell for it hook, line, & sinker! Ive now acquired 5 lenses and a flash and have taken two classes with a friend. I go out by myself just to shoot. I joined a Meet Up group with my friend and go on photo walks. I photograph dogs for my best friend's rescue. Best thing I ever did for myself!