Mom, where's your fun self?

The fun, daring part of me was lost and buried when my new identity became "Mom."

As a young, naïve mom, I expected myself to find complete satisfaction in life by cooking, cleaning and tending to my sweet babies 24/7, all between the walls of my little home. Like so many other moms, I thought it was selfish to do things by myself and for myself. Have you ever felt this way?

After 4 years of full-time, serious motherhood, I wasn't vibrant or vivacious anymore. I wasn't excited or interesting.

Painting ceramics without kids at Color Me Mine with my sis-in-law.

I mean, I used to be fun! What happened to that girl?!

Dear husband

Dear husband,

Remember the other night when we had a little fight?

You said, "You should get the wok really hot before you add the vegetables so they fry quickly instead of steaming." And what I heard was, "Please don't screw up my dinner again because I really think you're a crappy cook." And so I snapped, "If you don't like the way I cook, you can do it yourself!" And then you coaxed, "Sweetie, I didn't mean..." And I retorted, "Yeah, well that's what it sounded like." And then you turned around and walked out of the room.

Yeah. Sorry for that.

I wasn't trying to be offended. But, I guess I also wasn't trying not to be offended.

And when I apologized, you gave me a hug, kissed the top of my head and said, "Don't worry about it, sweetie. I forgive you."

And women think they're superior.

When good ideas punch me in the face.

The kids get in the pantry. They scale the walls, stuffing their fat cheeks with crackers, raisins and nuts while I slave over dinner at the hot stove. And then they don't eat their dinner. And it drives me crazy. And it has to stop.

Enter: Shower-curtain rod.

What if we moved?

I kinda hate the name of my blog. I really, really don't like Disney Princesses. I didn't mean to name it after a princess. It just kinda happened.

So, what would you think about moving?

I have a new blog I've been working on. I'll still write about this domestic stuff, but I want to add tutorials and talk about fashion and art and life, not that I'm particularly awesome at those things. I'm just interested. And I want to write about more interests.

This blog, Cinderella Duty, would be re-directed to the new one.

So, what do you think? Would you still be my friend and visit from time-to-time?

Zoloft Withdrawals: Update

If my doctor had told me when I was in her office, slumped in a chair holding my 3-month-old boy, that Zoloft HAD withdrawal symptoms, I wouldn't have taken it.

And I would have only survived the following year by breathing, eating and sleeping. I mean, the fact was, my hormones caused me to have intense Post-Partum Depression. There's no denying that.

So, do I regret taking Zoloft? Absolutely not. It gave my brain a boost and helped override the post-partum & nursing hormones that left me mentally & emotionally dead.

Around the time the boy turned 2, I felt my mind fighting for control, whispering, pleading to come back to life. Zoloft at this point just made me ridiculously drowsy. So, I talked with my doctor and we decided it was time to be done with it, thank goodness. I HATE taking medicine in general anyway.

Since my last post on weaning off Zoloft, I lowered my dose to 25mg for about a week, until I felt stabilized and healthy. Last Saturday, I stopped taking Zoloft completely.

I've been off Zoloft for 5 days now. There are definite pros & cons.

Crock Pot love.

Crock Pots were, no doubt, invented by members of the Heavenly Host. They require only 5 minutes to prep and allow 0 minutes to worry about dinner at 5:43 pm. So, why on earth don't I use this thing more?!

Because I don't want to worry about it at 12:26 pm either.

Weaning off Zoloft sucks.

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Brain zaps. Migraines. Vertigo. Memory loss. Sudden anger. Digestive issues (ahem). If you've ever had withdrawal symptoms from going off Zoloft (Sertraline), you know what I'm talking about.

I started taking Zoloft about 4 months after I had my boy because of severe post-partum depression and post-partum anxiety. My body was chemically thrown into the stratosphere after his birth. Nursing him until he was 1yo just sustained the issues.