Monday, January 30, 2012

My success is your failure

So...the Mom Exhibit. That was pretty fun, huh, to see another mom's unedited house?

Well, here's the problem. While I was totally willing to share images of the messes, I was too afraid to share successes because I didn't want to make anyone feel bad.

I got going and had moments where I was succeeding, when I stayed on top of the dishes for 24 hours, when I completely cleaned my bedroom (and it has stayed clean), when I vacuumed 2 weeks in a row, when I had a warm dinner on the table each night for an entire week.

But, then I read a post by a close friend about her success being perceived as another's failure. While she was talking about fertility, the principle remains the same. She wrote, "A person could be as sensitive as possible about fertility, or any matter, but still offend another person." She went on to explain, "It is possible to be happy for others without invading your own sadness." Read her full article here from her blog, Not So Sloth. Follow this girl, too. She's awesome.

She is so right.

I want to continue the Mom Exhibit. But, I want to start fresh. This time, I will show the normal ebb and flow of momming. I will publish the lows, the highs and the in-betweens. I need this blog to be a forum where I can express myself freely, without feeling constrained by the constant worry that I'll offend another.

So, if I publish something that I do well, please do not compare yourself. Do not let my success be your failure. Rather, comment and share one of your successes with me, no matter how small! And when I post an insurmountable mess, let's laugh out of insanity together.

We are moms. We are in this together. Our lives and emotional health are constantly in motion and rarely in synch with each other. It's vital to remember that we've all been there. We all have our living-out-of-laundry-basket months, our let's-use-paper-plates-because-I'm-so-unbelievably-overwhelmed-by-the-idea-of-even-washing-a-spoon weeks, our crap-someone-just-rang-the-doorbell-and-I-look-like-poo days, our I-know-this-is-too-small-but-the-kid-has-nothing-else-that's-clean-to-wear-to-bed-and-no-one-will-see-him-anyway nights. I get this. I do.

But, we also have those short, fleeting moments of, "Wow, I'm so proud of myself for unloading and loading the dishwasher in one day," or, "I am so proud of myself for showering before 11am," and the occasional, "Look at me, folding and putting away the laundry!"

One reason I think our highs and lows do not coincide is so we can uplift and help each other. So, let's be friends and be happy for each other no matter where we're at in life. And let's be kind when we're struggling to keep our crap together.

I'll do that for you because you're my friend.

I made a delicious cake for my girl's birthday. It was sooooo good. Now I just have to clean up from it. This is "un-motivation" in picture form.


  1. Thanks for the shout out! Its always so good to know your not alone in your feelings. My success last week was finally getting Mr. Medics baby goobered suit to the dry cleaner after promising for a whole month. It felt so good to keep my promise this time! But you know what, I fumbled once again when I didn't get it from the dry cleaner before they closed for the weekend. I just had to laugh! It kept me from feeling like a complete loser. At least I got half the task right! hahaha

  2. I'm going to share your blog on my facebook page because you really make some great points and you say it so well. You might have a messy house, but at least you have the talent to put great thoughts into words. Not everyone can do that! My accomplishment for the day was cleaning the bathroom. I made my 4-month-old cry while I did it, but the toilet was so dirty, I couldn't tell if my potty-training 2-year-old had peed in it or not. Whenever I get a chore like that done, I always tell myself that no matter what else I get done in the day my day was productive because I finished something that needed to be done!

  3. Hey girl! Here's my success and failure. After getting off the band wagon with my exercise and eating right for the entire weekend I did 2 count them 1, 2 workouts today! Yeah me! Love ya!

  4. where is the picture of the cake? (fabiola)

  5. Failure and success are both necessary. I enjoy your blog very much, Becky. I gave you a link today. :)

  6. I love reading your blog - highs, lows, successes, failures, whatever.
    Thanks for sharing and being so honest.
    Hope the cake turned out great!!